Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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