Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
