I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
