I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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