I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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