i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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