we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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