I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
