She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
