The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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