Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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