Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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