guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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