Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
