I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
