I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
