Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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