In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
