you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
