Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize