so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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