Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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