Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
