Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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