she smelled like a LAN party
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize