Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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