Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
