If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
