Got a toothbrush?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
