so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize