Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
