Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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