Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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