babies were throwing up all over the place
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
