I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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