Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
