god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
