..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
dude. I can hear the air.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
