I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
