Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
