Ambien. No doubt about it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
