I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wish I only lived at night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
