Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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