ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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