You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
