Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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