Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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