I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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