I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
