It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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