I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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