I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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