omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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