Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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