didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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