I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I need moral support for this bender
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
