i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
