Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How many fucks given?
0.12846
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
