Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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