this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
