I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just want nice things and good sex
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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