I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
