Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
