I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
