All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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