So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize