Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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