Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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