Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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