One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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