I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
