We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
