I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
