This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
