my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
