I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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