Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
